Let’s be real: if you’re reading this, you’ve probably been there. I know I have. It starts out so good, he’s texting you throughout the day, calling you cute nicknames, telling you how much he can’t wait to see you again. You’re thinking, Finally, someone who gets it. Then one day… nothing. Just radio silence. And you’re left staring at your phone, feeling like someone just pulled the rug out from under you.

So why does this happen? Why do they act like they’re so into you right before they pull their disappearing act?

The “Nice Guy” Illusion

I call this the Nice Guy Illusion: he’s laying it on thick, sending all the right signals, saying all the things that make you think, Wow, maybe he’s different. But often, this last-minute charm is his exit strategy. If he knows he’s about to ghost you, he’ll try to leave you with a warm, fuzzy memory of him rather than deal with the awkwardness of a real goodbye. He’d rather look like the charming guy who almost had it together than confront his actual lack of interest or commitment.

It’s an Ego Thing – And It’s Not About You

Here’s something I’ve had to remind myself over and over: sometimes, people crave the validation of being liked. That thrill of knowing you’re into them? It gives them a little ego boost. And once they’re sure you’re hooked, it’s like they’ve checked a box in their mind. Suddenly, the thrill dies down for them, and instead of facing that uncomfortable realisation, they decide to disappear. But remember, it has everything to do with their needs and nothing to do with your worth.

The Fear of Real Talk

Ever noticed how a lot of people would rather ghost than just be honest about where they’re at? Here’s the truth: confrontation makes some people squirm. Telling someone, “Hey, I don’t think this is working,” requires a level of courage and maturity that not everyone has. For some, ghosting is the easy way out – a way to avoid the risk of hurting you to your face. It’s a total lack of respect, but it’s unfortunately how some people handle things.

But let me tell you, the lack of closure can be a nightmare. You end up questioning everything. Did I say something wrong? Was it that time I accidentally double-texted? It’s such a mind game, and it makes you second-guess yourself, which is exactly what you don’t deserve.

A False Sense of “Niceness”

Here’s the kicker: sometimes they ghost thinking they’re being nice. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. They figure, “Hey, I’ll leave on a high note, so she remembers me as this sweet, perfect guy.” It’s twisted logic, but some genuinely believe they’re sparing you from the “hard conversation” by vanishing at their peak. It’s not kindness; it’s avoidance in disguise.

So, Here’s What I Learned

If he ghosts, remember this: his actions don’t define your worth. They define his inability to show up. And that burst of sweetness before he vanishes? It’s just his attempt to avoid the reality of saying, “I’m not in this for real.” You’re worthy of someone who’s all in, someone who shows up, even when it’s uncomfortable or tricky.

Let this be your reminder that you deserve consistency, someone who doesn’t dip out just because things get real. And the next time someone ghosts after a charm overload, you can laugh to yourself and say, “Guess he’s just another Nice Guy illusion.”

But hey, that’s just my take (yep, from experience – more than three times, in fact!). It’s a rollercoaster, but we keep it moving, right?