Every friendship group has one.
The girl who says she’s on her way while she’s still in a towel.
The one who can identify an ex from the reflection in someone’s sunglasses.
The friend who disappears for three hours during brunch and returns with a new boyfriend.
The one who keeps everyone alive by carrying Panado, tissues, lip balm, and emotional support.
You already have a reputation, babe.
Let’s see if it’s accurate.
1. Your friend texts: “I have something to tell you.”
A. “CALL ME NOW.”
B. “Wait… is it about HIM?”
C. “Good or bad? Blink twice.”
D. “I already know, but continue.”
2. How long does it take you to get ready for girls’ night?
A. Three days mentally. Two hours physically.
B. Five outfit changes and one minor breakdown.
C. Twenty minutes. We ride at dawn.
D. Ready on time because someone has to be responsible.
3. A situationship posts a mysterious Instagram Story.
A. What situationship?
B. Zoom. Enhance. Investigate.
C. Send it to the group chat immediately.
D. Accidentally watch it within 0.3 seconds.
4. What’s your biggest red flag?
A. “I can fix him.”
B. “One more online order won’t hurt.”
C. “I’m leaving now” (not leaving now).
D. Giving people 47 second chances.
5. At brunch, you’re the friend who…
A. Orders first.
B. Takes 87 photos.
C. Starts the gossip.
D. Says, “Should we split the bill equally?”
6. Your camera roll is mostly…
A. Selfies.
B. Screenshots for legal purposes.
C. Photos of food.
D. Unhinged memes.
7. The group chat is arguing. What are you doing?
A. Adding fuel.
B. Watching silently.
C. Mediating.
D. Sending reaction GIFs.
8. Which phrase do you say the most?
A. “Absolutely not.”
B. “Wait, there’s more.”
C. “I need to tell you something.”
D. “Girls, be serious.”
9. Be honest. How often do you stalk people online?
A. Never.
B. Define “stalk.”
C. Only when necessary.
D. Their dog’s cousin’s profile says hello.
10. You accidentally see your ex in public.
A. Pretend not to notice.
B. Suddenly become fascinated by a wall.
C. Text the group chat immediately.
D. Leave with an Oscar-worthy performance.
11. Someone says “Don’t tell anyone.”
A. I won’t.
B. I won’t tell everyone.
C. I won’t tell everyone immediately.
D. The group chat is technically not everyone.
12. Pick a weekend activity.
A. Romanticising life.
B. Being nosy.
C. Causing minor chaos.
D. Recovering from last weekend.
YOUR RESULTS
Mostly A’s: The Main Character
Your life has plot twists, outfit changes, and dramatic internal monologues.
You somehow turn a quick trip to the grocery store into a cinematic experience.
People don’t just hear your stories. They experience them.
Mostly B’s: The FBI Agent
Nothing escapes you.
Not the new follower.
Not the deleted comment.
Not the suspicious like from 2019.
Your investigative skills are terrifying and impressive in equal measure.
Mostly C’s: The Chaos Coordinator
You’re not the drama.
You’re just somehow always standing next to it when it happens.
Life happens to you at an alarming rate.
Your friends stay around because every day with you feels like a new episode.
Mostly D’s: The Group’s Unpaid Therapist
You’ve talked at least three friends out of texting their ex.
This week.
You give elite advice, great hugs, and somehow always know exactly what to say.
Your only flaw? Caring a little too much about people who should know better.
Equal Mix of Everything?
Congratulations.
You’re the Wild Card.
One day you’re the therapist.
The next day you’re the reason the therapist needs therapy.
Nobody knows what version of you they’re getting.
Including you.
